Overboard?

A co-worker today, in celebration of Obama being in office for 100 days. Awesome? Just enough? Too much? I really can't decide.

At least you're regular?

And the guest posts are slowly trickling in! I actually got this submission a few weeks ago, but I have been neglecting this blog, so it's taken me a while to get around to this one! I swear I'll be better in the future. :-)

I understand schedules, I do. I am in awe of the human body clock, and yours is on time. Is it ever on time. Every day you get to work, turn on your computer and get ready for the day. Every day you walk in to our single stall bathroom and do your business. Every day! You are in there FOREVER, so it makes it hard not to notice. You are the first person first thing in the morning to stink it up with your "regularness". If you are that regular, can't you train it to be done at home? Oh, and make sure you flush all the way or clean the bowl...I'm tired of your poo crumbs and skid marks on the bottom of the bowl. Cochina!

7-4er.

Just a quick one because I am super busy today catching up on my Google Reader. Oh yeah, and working.

I work 7am - 4pm.

It's an arrangement that I worked out with my boss and company when school started last September and it took me over 2 hours to get to work one morning.

A lot of my work needs to be done before noon, and I work with our East Coast office often enough that it was beneficial all around to work 7am - 4pm.

So, anyway. 7am - 4pm. I love it. I love being here early, I love working by myself, and I get SO much done before other people start trickling in around 9am. By 9:30am, I have most of my daily crap done and am available for the troubleshooting that is the majority of my job lately.

But the problem? Leaving at 4pm. People who don't work with me directly and know the score are always like, why the fuck does she always get to leave at 4pm? I have to be here till after 6pm!

BECAUSE I GET HERE THREE HOURS BEFORE YOU DO. That's why. Mind your own damn business. Don't be all giving me stink eye because I made an arrangement that works for me and everyone I deal with directly!

It bugs me SO much. You don't know what arrangements I have. You don't know my life!

Quit poking your nose in!

I hate when people send useless emails about things that have no concern to them.

You're copied on that email because the person who sent it is a lazy ass who didn't want to spend an extra 0:30 seconds trying to figure out who to go to, and sent it to everyone he could think of instead.

Obviously, that promo is being scheduled. Obviously, it's not being delivered and then sitting around. If you weren't responsible for it in the past, what makes you think that you suddenly have to waste valuable time annoying the crap out of me for something that has nothing to do with you?

Fuck off, people. Do your jobs, and stay out of mine!

I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU!

Excuse me, lady?

Just because you don't like the parking spot that has been assigned to you, it's not cool to park in our spots. See, our spots are "first come, first serve." And there are four spots that seven people get to take their shot at getting. So, you taking one of those, instead of your own? This is not really ok.

Also, you would argue that one of us can just have your spot. Only our security? They don't like when we do that. In fact, we've all received emails that specifically tell us we're ONLY allowed to park in our four spots.

So please. Park in your spot, even if the tree gets stuff on your car. Because it's yours. It has your name on it. It's nicely in the shade. And then? We won't shake our fists at you as you walk away.

American public education fails again...

This morning I was copied on an email from a co-worker to a client we work with often, and it literally made me cringe. We're super busy and overworked, so I'm going use that as an excuse for this email. But honestly, there needs to be some sort of course kids take in high school to teach them how to use correct grammar in a work environment.

From the email I received:

"The log for Monday (7/14) is being a work on and completed today..."

"There are no instructions that have been fax over in regards to the spots..."

Little mistakes, but still. They went to a client, and we should be at the point where we review emails before we send them.

Hi, co-worker, me again.

I understand that you have a busy schedule - with small companies, everyone does. However, leaving a third of a cup of coffee in the coffee pot is still a largely frowned-upon, dick move.

If you want to finish the pot and not make a new one, fine. That's rude in itself, but sort of understandable. But leaving just enough to tease someone into thinking they're getting a cup of coffee is just plain mean.

Thanks a lot, ass.

This is what we have to deal with? Really?

I am really starting to hate the location of my office. I used to think it was kind of cool to get a taste of not-ritzy Los Angeles. Then, we had to start locking our car doors and avoid driving on certain streets because of gang violence. Then, we were put on lockdown for hours one day because there had been an officer-involved gang shooting down the block and one of the suspects had escaped into nearby apartments with an AK-47. As in the assault rifle? Yeah.

Then today, a co-worker called me when I was about 10 minutes from work to ask if I was there yet, or if I could get in. Because once again, our neighborhood had been put on lockdown while numerous law enforcement agencies were completing a sweep of the neighborhood, serving warrents and making arrests.

I don't think it's cool anymore. Now it's just a waste of my time. And a little ghetto.

I might just start pulling out my hair.

Co-worker: Hey... I'm just going to grab this copy of (movie) so I can make you a new DVD.
me: I've already delivered it, that one is the old one with the profanities.
Co-worker: Oh... Can you get the new one back?
me: You guys should be able to pull the file off the server, right?
Co-worker: Um, yeah, I guess. I mean, it takes a little longer. (pause) Are you sure this isn't the tape?
me: Yes. I delivered the tape. That one is the old one.
Co-worker: Because that one looks exactly like the one I gave you.
me: You gave me two. One before the profanities were fixed, and one after.
Co-worker: Can I take this one and check?
me: I told you, I delivered the good version, please make the DVD off the server file.
Co-worker (lingering by my desk)
me: Look, this one says it was output on 6/4. The one I delivered was output on 6/12. Just let me know when the DVD is done, ok?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

It's called checking your work.

You should try it sometime!

Once again, here is something that highly irritates me. It's a lack of respect for the work you deliver. We have a department at my office that continually screws up projects. It sucks, too, because I dearly and genuinely like all of the members of this department on a personal level. But at the same time, I am constantly kicking projects back to them for fixes - a misspelled word, incorrect numbers on slate, no visible time code when there should be, or just a sloppy job overall.

And it never gets better. I should know by now by the number of times I've been burned by them that I need to personally check everything before I send anything out. But where's that time supposed to come from? And my point is that I shouldn't HAVE to do that! I should be able to rely on my departments to deliver something worthy of the standards we demand.

I really wish they would get their shit together, check their work, and have pride in their work so that the projects they deliver are correct and complete.

Something is not right here.

One of the things that bugs me about the general office experience is people who have a completely distorted sense of how things work. The following story is not a first hand account, but a friend told me about it and I was immediately irritated for her. :-)

Setup: A new temp is hired when the person in her position is promoted, and starts on Wednesday. The position is one which often requires lots of overtime. She is responsible for assisting a department that has members in different California offices, as well as an office in London. They have a department meeting at 8am every Tuesday which everyone from every office attends.

Cut to this morning, when my friend gets an email from this new temp, requesting that the department meeting (which has been on the same day and time for over two years) be moved from 8am to 8:30am because she doesn't get in until 8:30am.

I'm sorry? How long have you worked there? Two days? And you're asking to move a long standing meeting that tons of people from different time zones go to, so you don't have to come in a half hour earlier once a week?

How are people that dense and self-concerned?

My friend responded with a hasty "no," to her email, and then received another email:

"On second thought, I'll do my best to attend the 8am start time."

Do your best? No! You will be there!! Or, you will work out with your boss whatever reason you have to NOT be there. But jeeze. You're BRAND new, you do not get to negotiate for a while.

Listen to my words.

I can't stand when people (1) don't pay attention to what you're saying, and (2) are complete boneheads.

Part of what I do for my company is ordering acquired films that we air from the production studios. We had another film come up that we wanted to air in two weeks, so I went through my normal channels and ordered it. This is the 6th film in the last three years that I have had to order from this woman, let's call her Angie. Yesterday, I emailed Angie with our formal request for the film. This morning, we went back and forth with emails. I'm just going to cut and paste our emails below...

Me: Hi Angie, Here is our formal order for the film (title). The DigiBeta can please be delivered to (my address). Please let me know if there are any issues."

Angie: Can you please forward me me you technical specs? (<-- yes, that is incorrect grammar in there... and she's asking for the same document I've sent her FIVE times before.)

Me: Here you go! Thanks.

Angie: Hi, I need your tech. SPECS. (<-- THAT'S WHAT I JUST SENT YOU, LADY!)

Me: This is the same document (updated more recently) as I have sent you for (other movie), (other movie), etc. Please let me know specifically what you are looking for if this document does not cover it. We will be taking care of formatting the film, as well as the closed captioning.

Angie: Hi, Please forward me the Specs file. Lab, cannot locate. (<-- WTF???? I consider this seriously rude because I literally forwarded it to her two emails ago.)

Me: Sorry for any miscommunication, it's the file I just sent you. It is titled Programming Specs, and it has the rundown of our deliverables. I have attached it again for your convenience.

Angie: (title) - is due to ship out tomorrow.


I want points for not saying, "YOU HAVE THE DOCUMENT, YOU FLIPPING MORON."

Snip, snip, snip.

Who needs to clip their fingernails this frequently??? Do your fingernails grow at some super speed? Maybe I'm just sensitive because I hate the noise that nail clipping creates, but come on. This is the second time this week! And last week, that was another occurance. If you're that obsessive about nail care, could you please do it at home?

"JOE????"

Hi, coworkers! It's me again. Just a friendly reminder - we all work in the same office, and just because your office is not remotely near the office of someone you talk to 20x/day, it is still rude to shrilly yell across our entire building to see if someone is at their desk. Go see for yourself, or better yet, CALL THEM! If they don't answer? Chances are they're not sitting at their phone. This knowledge will eliminate the necessity of you screaming at the top of your lungs to see if they're there, and will thus prevent me from wanting to punch you in the face.

That's not my name, ok?

I was reading a random blog I found today and came across a post called "My name ain't Lexi." I read it, laughed, then went to comment on it, and discovered I had quite a few things to say about the topic! See, this girl's name is Alexa, and people she works with call her "Lexi," which she doesn't like. I identify, of course, because my full name is Adriana, and I hate when people I don't know call me "Adri."

It's a fine line - I have lots of friends who call me "Adri." It's a nickname from high school, and I get it. You shorten my name because it's long and weird and whatever. I'm totally cool with my good friends calling me this, because they KNOW my full name, and use it when necessary.

I don't like when people I don't know call me "Adri." I also hate being introduced as "Adri." But again, if it's my friends, I'll deal, because I'm not a raging bitch and at the end of the day, it's just a flippin nickname.

But at work, I don't go by "Adri." I go by my full name, "Addy," or "Ade," as my friend Desi sometimes calls me. But there is one girl, Jeanette, who insists on calling me "Adri."

At first, she was new, so I didn't know how to correct her, since I'm actually a pretty nice person who doesn't like correcting people when they don't know any better. But it went on and on, and eventually I figured out a way to jokingly bring up how I don't go by "Adri" at work. I explained to her how I go by Adriana at work, and how her calling me "Adri" is similar to me shortening her nice, pretty name to "Jean," or even "Net" or something. (my mom's name is Jean, by the way, and it's a very nice name, so please don't be offended if your name is Jean)

We had a nice little conversation, and I thought she got it, but she continued to call me "Adri!" I finally just gave up, because obviously it's not something that's going to change anytime soon. She has since left the company for bigger and better things, so I guess sometimes there are things you just have to ride out. But today I'm feeling particularly cranky, and after reading Alexa's blog, I just had to mention it.

WTF???

The other day, someone called a bomb threat in to my office after hours. They got our reception voicemail, and left a menacing message - but ruined their chances of being taken seriously by laughing at the end of it. Of course, our company still couldn't take it lightly, so everyone was evacuated, and we were herded to the end of our block while the cops were called and the buildings were searched.

It turned out that there was not, in fact, a bomb in our building.

But while investigating, the cops discovered that the message had been left by a cell phone. Which leads me to ask the question - HOW STUPID ARE YOU? What is going through your tiny little peanut of a mind to call in a BOMB threat, which is a felony, by the way, from your PERSONAL phone?

This seriously has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, and it just makes me mad. Not only was my office threatened and disrupted, but the person who did it wasn't even smart enough to call from a freaking pay phone or something.

Ridiculous.

Attention co-workers.

Attention co-workers:

While it is perfectly acceptable to play music at your desk during the day, please keep it to a reasonable volume. If I am sitting at my desk more than 30 feet away, I should not be able to hear your weird music as if you were next to me with a boombox on your shoulder. Turn it down, or put on some damn headphones!

Also, even though I might not recognize the music you are playing, I do recognize when you play the same song numerous times.

Seriously, that's gross.

Seriously disgusting. Our microwave at work, with some kind of meat sauce so caked on that I couldn't scrape it off with a napkin. This is not ok. I don't understand why it's so hard to take the extra second to clean up after yourself. You're not THAT busy, and you're not THAT important.

What's the point?

What is the point of starting a conversation with me, if you're just going to walk away in the middle of my response when something else comes along? How freaking rude are you, anway??? I seriously hope that you don't do that at home, because it's really annoying. I shouldn't even engage in conversations anymore... but if you're lingering in front of my desk, what choice do I have? I'm aware you don't give a shit about my opinions, but you could at least try to be polite about it.

I shake my fist at you, lady.

Attention co-workers.

Attention co-workers:

(1) If you are in need of a cup, and there are none on the counter, they can be found in the cabinet below. Also, if you go to grab one from there, it is perfectly acceptable to put more on the counter where you know they should be.

(2) If you are in need of more napkins, and you are going to take the time to open a new package of them, feel free to put more out for everyone to enjoy.

(3) If there are two trash recepticles available, and one is clearly marked "Recycling ONLY: Bottles and Cans," this is not the one in which to place the trash from your salmon lunch.

(4) The proper proceedure for using individual creamers is as follows - open creamer, dump into coffee, place empty creamer container in TRASH CAN. (note: the counter is not a trash can, and therefore, empty creamers should not be left there)

(5) If you place a dirty dish in the sink, it is yours to wash. Unfortunately, our budget does not run to kitchen help, and we are left to our own devices to keep it clean. In addition, dirty dishes left in the sink for more than two weeks will be thrown away, due to the mold and filfth that is now coating them.

Thank you.