You are making me cranky pants.

I am extremely irritated with my auto insurance today. I bought my car exactly a week ago, and have been attempting to add it to the insurance policy that my mom and I are on.

And they are being total bitches about it.

I called once last Friday.

The lady was totally rude to me, was short with me, and I ultimately got irritated with her and hung up. I know it was an irrational reaction, but I don't care.

Then I tried calling again. This time, the lady was totally cool, but I am not the main person on the policy, so I couldn't add my car. I asked if my mom could call and make a note that I am allowed to, and the lady told me that would be totally fine.

My mom called them. The lady SHE talked to asked if I was an adult. My mom said yes. She asked if I was a dependent. My mom said no. She told my mom that I couldn't be on her policy and needed to get my own.

Which is total crap!

And now I'm pissed. I still haven't been able to get my flipping car put on our policy. I know that I have a 30 day grace period, but COME ON. My mom has been a customer for 36 years... why the shit are they being this difficult!?

I shake my fist at auto insurance people.

Oh, Sarah Palin.

It's just so true, and so sad.

A borrowed one on email forwards.

My good friend Chris posted this blog today about receiving email forwards and I had to post it up here! He even shakes his fist at the end!

"I got an e-mail forward today from one of my fiancee's relatives that reminded me why I hate them so much. This e-mail violated both of my pet peeves -

1) Those ones where you "sign a petition" and pass it on to everyone in your address book don't work because...everyone has different address books! Person #12 in my address book doesn't know person #3, or even know if they signed it. So now there are multiple versions of one thing. The only way these e-mail "petition" things could conceivably work is to send it to one person at a time.

2) Research, research, RESEARCH. Guess what - if you're checking your e-mail, you're already on the internet. Do your research before telling me there's a movie about gay Jesus coming out, that cellphones will soon be assaulted by telemarketers or that the word 'picnic' is offensive to African-Americans. Google found all three of those results in about 5 seconds each.

I shake my fist at you, internet forwards!"

Hehe. Chris, you rock.

Don't be a texting whore.

I read this post over on Confessions of a Cohabitant today, and it made me think of a friend of mine who is constantly texting. All the time. Hundreds, possibly even thousands, of text messages a day. Her phone is constantly within reach, and at the longest, she'll go five minutes without texting. It's a problem.

In a bar for a friend's birthday? Texting. In a movie theater? Texting. At work? Texting. Driving? Texting.

It bugs the crap out of me.

Because she is NEVER 100% there. Not paying attention. Distracted. And it makes you feel like she doesn't really give a shit about hanging out with you. That there's always somewhere else she'd rather be.

It makes me wish that "unlimited texting" plans were never created. Maybe if it cost $45-60/day she would cut it the fuck out.

Why babies?

I hate arguing for or against having kids with people. Because I feel like there are way to many concrete, tangible reasons to NOT have kids - I like my Saturday mornings, I'd rather not wreck my body, I like my boobs where they are thanks, I don't have an extra million dollars laying around, etc.

But there are not so many reasons to list when asked "why" you want kids. What are you supposed to say, "I'm a sucker for poopy diapers and ear piercing screams?" "I heart projectile vomit?"

I mean - you've got your feelings - the desire to see what you would create, the indescribable pull to be a parent. That tug in your heart when you see a baby and know that being a mom is something you're supposed to do in your life. But when it comes to things people (read: the other sex) can relate to, the only thing you've really got is "Because I do."

I shake my fist at you, intangible reasons to wanting kids!

7-4er.

Just a quick one because I am super busy today catching up on my Google Reader. Oh yeah, and working.

I work 7am - 4pm.

It's an arrangement that I worked out with my boss and company when school started last September and it took me over 2 hours to get to work one morning.

A lot of my work needs to be done before noon, and I work with our East Coast office often enough that it was beneficial all around to work 7am - 4pm.

So, anyway. 7am - 4pm. I love it. I love being here early, I love working by myself, and I get SO much done before other people start trickling in around 9am. By 9:30am, I have most of my daily crap done and am available for the troubleshooting that is the majority of my job lately.

But the problem? Leaving at 4pm. People who don't work with me directly and know the score are always like, why the fuck does she always get to leave at 4pm? I have to be here till after 6pm!

BECAUSE I GET HERE THREE HOURS BEFORE YOU DO. That's why. Mind your own damn business. Don't be all giving me stink eye because I made an arrangement that works for me and everyone I deal with directly!

It bugs me SO much. You don't know what arrangements I have. You don't know my life!

Just an opinion.

It bothers me when Americans don't vote.

There are lots of reasons why, but nothing I could write would be better than how it was put in a comment over on Cleveland's A Plum.

Cubby wrote:

"The citizens of Iraq literally risked being shot or blown up to vote freely for the first time in their lives. The people of Zimbabwe that didn't support the current president were beaten or killed for trying to vote against him. Hundreds of millions of people around the world reside in countries that don't allow them the opportunity to speak for themselves. It's no wonder people around the world scoff at our apathy. Not voting may easily be the most ignorant act someone can commit. The signers of our Declaration of Independence risked being executed by choosing a chance to give everyone that came after them a chance for freedom; instead of being thankful we have a chance to decide who leads us, it's so much easier to not offend anyone and not vote. Don't like your options? No candidate can every completely embody everything you stand for. Find the one closest to your views and help push things in your direction. "The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all" - John F. Kennedy."

I agree with this on many levels. I think it's vital for Americans to get up off their lazy asses and vote - vote for SOMETHING, vote for anything, show up and leave your ballot blank for all I care. But show that you appreciate being an American enough to do what thousands of people fought long and hard for us to be able to do.

Oh, and also? If you choose to be a lazy ass and NOT go vote? Don't you DARE complain about the outcome of the election you decided wasn't worth your time.

There were actually a lot of awesome comments on Alexa's "What Would Dumbo Say?" post - I would check them out if I were you.

Social networking.

I have a love/hate relationship with social networks. I love them because I get to connect with people I don't talk to all the time. I hate them because they often create a false sense of familiarity that really irritates me.

I get it. We're "friends." But that doesn't mean you can ask extremely personal questions. It doesn't mean that you should assume that I want to hang out with you.

I'm sorry. That sounds harsh.

But it's true. If I want to hang out with you, I will cultivate a relationship. I will take the time to listen to you, see how you're doing. To call. To email. To converse. I will not invite myself to things, or put pressure on you to take time out of your busy schedule to pay attention to me.

If it's impolite to do it in person, why is it ok to do it online?

Not so appropriate.

Why do people in offices insist on making inappropriate and annoying comments when someone's significant other stops by?

Coworker: Was that your boy that just dropped you off outside?
me: Oh, yeah, it was.
Coworker: Ooohh, a little afternoon delight?
me: Um... no. We just went to lunch.

I shake my fist at you, License to Wed!

I hate this movie. And, I hate that I hate this movie. I had high hopes for this movie. I usually love romantic comedies. I absolutely adore John Krasinski. I enjoy Mandy Moore. I can even tolerate Robin Williams. It was directed by Ken Kwapis, who is a GREAT director. But this movie? One of the worst movies, ever. And it's been on HBO for the last couple weeks, where I am unable to look away!

I think the biggest deal breaker for me? You feel so sympathetic to John Krasinski's character that you want to jump into the movie screen and tell him to run. Run far away, and never look back. Because that chick? SHE IS INSANE. All Mandy Moore's character does is whine and moan. She gets angry with him for the dumbest things, and the worst part is that at the end of the movie, HE is the one who has to apologize. HE is the one who has to make the grand gesture to get her back. WTF? All HIS character did wrong in the film was want to marry a selfish and obnoxious woman.

The entire movie is based off of the fact that this stupid woman (1) set a wedding date for 3 weeks away, and (2) also agreed to a ridiculous "wedding course" without even TALKING to her fiance! WHAT? No one would do that!

Plus, she's so hung up on the wedding vows, what the shit is that? Him not writing anything down in a freaking notebook doesn't mean that he doesn't want to marry her! UGH. He proposed, didn't he?

And Robin Williams' character? Bothered me so much that I wanted to scream. I was literally sitting in the theater about to pull my hair out because he was driving me that crazy. No reverend would be that invasive of privacy, or put people through anything like that.

I'm all about suspending my disbelief, but this one is WAY too over the top. Do yourself a favor - if you haven't seen this movie, SKIP IT.

Badly done, License to Wed, badly done.

Note to self: Finish writing screenplay, because if that shit can be produced, I should be a millionaire by now.

Is there anyone out there who actually liked this movie?

Screw off, Manny Ramirez!

WTF is wrong with Manny Ramirez? I'm sorry - how bad could you have it making $20 million a year? I guess I just don't understand how ungrateful someone has to be to want so badly to leave the team that made him into a sports superstar... Come on, do you really think you'd be as popular as you are if it weren't for the Red Sox? The Red Sox "don't deserve" you? THEY MADE YOU!

Good riddance, ass.

But one more thing, why did you have to come to LA?

You know what sucks?

When someone steals your boyfriend's debit card number and uses it to drop $1,500 in San Francisco. Eight days before you're supposed to move.

Quit poking your nose in!

I hate when people send useless emails about things that have no concern to them.

You're copied on that email because the person who sent it is a lazy ass who didn't want to spend an extra 0:30 seconds trying to figure out who to go to, and sent it to everyone he could think of instead.

Obviously, that promo is being scheduled. Obviously, it's not being delivered and then sitting around. If you weren't responsible for it in the past, what makes you think that you suddenly have to waste valuable time annoying the crap out of me for something that has nothing to do with you?

Fuck off, people. Do your jobs, and stay out of mine!

I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU!

Excuse me, lady?

Just because you don't like the parking spot that has been assigned to you, it's not cool to park in our spots. See, our spots are "first come, first serve." And there are four spots that seven people get to take their shot at getting. So, you taking one of those, instead of your own? This is not really ok.

Also, you would argue that one of us can just have your spot. Only our security? They don't like when we do that. In fact, we've all received emails that specifically tell us we're ONLY allowed to park in our four spots.

So please. Park in your spot, even if the tree gets stuff on your car. Because it's yours. It has your name on it. It's nicely in the shade. And then? We won't shake our fists at you as you walk away.

Blogger.com, why do you hate me?

I have my comment settings set up so that I should be receiving an email when I am left comments. I like getting comments, and I like knowing that I got comments.

But guess what I'm not getting? Comment notificiations!

I shake my fist at you, Blogger!!!

I have tried researching the problem, and see that it's not just me. On the Blogger Help "Known Issues" page, I found this entry that says "Some comment notification emails are not being sent. We are investigating this issue. Update, 12/6: This has been fixed. — latest update on Thursday, December 06, 2007" Well, it may have been fixed, but it's back again!

Then I looked on the Blogger Help Group pages. And I found several posts about this issue. One of the things they say to try is changing your email to a different host. So, I switched mine from my Hotmail to my Yahoo. This **seems** to be working, but the issue is still making me mad!!!!!!

Why did it stop working in the first place!? Grrrr. And argh.

**Update: Hmm. Maybe the title of this post should have been "Hotmail, why do you hate me?"**

American public education fails again...

This morning I was copied on an email from a co-worker to a client we work with often, and it literally made me cringe. We're super busy and overworked, so I'm going use that as an excuse for this email. But honestly, there needs to be some sort of course kids take in high school to teach them how to use correct grammar in a work environment.

From the email I received:

"The log for Monday (7/14) is being a work on and completed today..."

"There are no instructions that have been fax over in regards to the spots..."

Little mistakes, but still. They went to a client, and we should be at the point where we review emails before we send them.

Hi, co-worker, me again.

I understand that you have a busy schedule - with small companies, everyone does. However, leaving a third of a cup of coffee in the coffee pot is still a largely frowned-upon, dick move.

If you want to finish the pot and not make a new one, fine. That's rude in itself, but sort of understandable. But leaving just enough to tease someone into thinking they're getting a cup of coffee is just plain mean.

Thanks a lot, ass.

Best. Bumper sticker. EVER.

If only you'd paid attention.

The boyfriend and I went out this weekend with the hopes of finding a good camera store with a friendly salesperson to answer a few questions for us. (Little did I know boyfriend was fully ready to buy me a camera right there and then!) We drove around for a while and ended up at this place in Woodland Hills called Woodland Hills Camera & Telescopes. Looking back, it seems like they are much more a telescope place than a camera place, but hi, their name has "camera" in it, so we went in expecting to talk to someone who knew something about cameras.

Here's how our experience went: We go into the cramped store. There's a middle-aged man helping a guy at the back counter, and an old man, a teenage boy, and a middle-aged woman working in the store with several customers. I head back to back counter, where the middle-aged guy is helping a guy choose between two point and shoot cameras. Since neither of them are a Nikon or a Canon (or even an Olympus, for that matter), I start to wonder. There's a lady waiting after him, and I approach and start to look at the SLR and DSLR cameras they sell.

I make eye contact with the guy to let him know we have some questions and stand patiently for at least five to ten minutes while he helps the other two customers. The guy who is weighing his options between the point and shoots asks for a minute to think about it, and we are finally helped.

Or, should I say, not helped. This guy was a complete asshole. He was rude, he was standoffish, and most importantly, he didn't seem to give a shit about the fact that the cameras we were looking at were at least TWICE the price as the guy dilly dallying about the point and shoots.

We were ready to buy! We were ready to say, ok, wrap it up and let's go! If only he had paid attention to us, and given us the quality of service you'd think would keep a mom and pop place like that open!

I asked about the D60 and the D40X. He completely brushed of me asking about the D40X, even though he had at least four of them in boxes under the counter. I had to ask him to see the physical D60, which he did very begrudgingly. At that point, I was already put off by this guy. I was playing around with the D60 when he went back to help point and shoot guy. While he was helping him, the older man in the shop came up and asked him if anyone needed any help. He looked at us, and said NO.

What? Obviously I have questions about a Digital SLR. Point and shoot guy then need MORE time to think (I don't know about you, but this tipped me off that he wasn't quite ready to drop $400 on a camera). The dude finally paid attention to us again, and I took the opportunity to ask him about the D80, and about whether or not I could use my old Nikon lenses on the Digital SLR. He told me to forget about the D80, because Nikon was going to announce the new version in a month at the European trade shows. What if I still wanted the damn D80??? I made him give me the one he had on the shelf so I could hold it and see how I liked it anyway, but I was totally over it by then. And the lenses? He could not for the life of him give us a straight answer as to if they would work or not. No way was I going to allow Sean to spend money in this place.

We left shortly after that, totally pissed off that this guy had totally blotched the opportunity for his store to sell a camera to us.

You have to be a special kind of stupid to completely alienate two customers who are actually ready to buy a $700 camera and make them never want to go near your store again.

So, the moral of this story? Don't shop at Woodland Hills Camera & Telescopes. And also, if you ever own a company of your very own? Don't mistake a young couple as "browzers" when they very well maybe be dropping large amounts of cash in your store.

This is what we have to deal with? Really?

I am really starting to hate the location of my office. I used to think it was kind of cool to get a taste of not-ritzy Los Angeles. Then, we had to start locking our car doors and avoid driving on certain streets because of gang violence. Then, we were put on lockdown for hours one day because there had been an officer-involved gang shooting down the block and one of the suspects had escaped into nearby apartments with an AK-47. As in the assault rifle? Yeah.

Then today, a co-worker called me when I was about 10 minutes from work to ask if I was there yet, or if I could get in. Because once again, our neighborhood had been put on lockdown while numerous law enforcement agencies were completing a sweep of the neighborhood, serving warrents and making arrests.

I don't think it's cool anymore. Now it's just a waste of my time. And a little ghetto.

I might just start pulling out my hair.

Co-worker: Hey... I'm just going to grab this copy of (movie) so I can make you a new DVD.
me: I've already delivered it, that one is the old one with the profanities.
Co-worker: Oh... Can you get the new one back?
me: You guys should be able to pull the file off the server, right?
Co-worker: Um, yeah, I guess. I mean, it takes a little longer. (pause) Are you sure this isn't the tape?
me: Yes. I delivered the tape. That one is the old one.
Co-worker: Because that one looks exactly like the one I gave you.
me: You gave me two. One before the profanities were fixed, and one after.
Co-worker: Can I take this one and check?
me: I told you, I delivered the good version, please make the DVD off the server file.
Co-worker (lingering by my desk)
me: Look, this one says it was output on 6/4. The one I delivered was output on 6/12. Just let me know when the DVD is done, ok?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

It's called checking your work.

You should try it sometime!

Once again, here is something that highly irritates me. It's a lack of respect for the work you deliver. We have a department at my office that continually screws up projects. It sucks, too, because I dearly and genuinely like all of the members of this department on a personal level. But at the same time, I am constantly kicking projects back to them for fixes - a misspelled word, incorrect numbers on slate, no visible time code when there should be, or just a sloppy job overall.

And it never gets better. I should know by now by the number of times I've been burned by them that I need to personally check everything before I send anything out. But where's that time supposed to come from? And my point is that I shouldn't HAVE to do that! I should be able to rely on my departments to deliver something worthy of the standards we demand.

I really wish they would get their shit together, check their work, and have pride in their work so that the projects they deliver are correct and complete.

You have to follow through.

I dislike it when people complain and complain and complain about things, and then never take action to change them. I will listen to you endlessly - but don't get mad at me when I tell you things are never going to change unless you follow through with some kind of action!

Don't like how your life is going? Find a way to change it!

Don't like the behavior of your employee? Tell them, and then make sure they fix it.

Don't want your child running wild all over the place? Discipline them, and follow it through.

I know it's much easier to give advice than to take it. I do. And there are times where my own behavior annoys the hell out of me for not making changes. But in the end, you're never going to be happy with a situation if you're not willing to do SOMETHING to make it better.

Did you not take English classes?

I hate that people feel that it's ok to have incorrect spelling and grammar if they are writing on the Internet! My sister is particularly guilty of this, but I run into it everywhere - including places that should know better. Now, I know that I don't have perfect grammar ALL the time, and there are many occasions where my spell check catches a few words. Typing quickly, or being in a rush, can often lead to spelling and grammar mistakes. But seriously, people? Get with it. Because someday, your lack of grammar skills is going to catch up for you.

Biggest offender:
"I" instead of "me" when describing a photo. Ex: "This is Sarah and I at the zoo." NO. It's "Sarah and ME." You wouldn't say "This is I at the zoo," so what drives you to write "I"???

1st runner up:
"Your" instead of "you're." Ex: "Your beautiful." Your beautiful what?? It's YOU ARE beautiful! Get it right!

2nd runner up:
"There," "their," and "they're." Suggestion: Take the extra two seconds it takes to make sure you're using the correct version, so that you don't look like a complete and moronic asshole.

I shake my fist at bad grammar!

National average? I think not.

AAA claims that the national average price of gasoline is $3.97. Stupid California hasn't seen gas that cheap for WEEKS.

Gas in Woodland Hills on Ventura Blvd. And yes, that is an off-brand "cheap" station. 5/28/08

Gas at my "secret" cheap station finally goes over $4.00. 5/28/08

I shake my fist at you, California gas prices!!!

Something is not right here.

One of the things that bugs me about the general office experience is people who have a completely distorted sense of how things work. The following story is not a first hand account, but a friend told me about it and I was immediately irritated for her. :-)

Setup: A new temp is hired when the person in her position is promoted, and starts on Wednesday. The position is one which often requires lots of overtime. She is responsible for assisting a department that has members in different California offices, as well as an office in London. They have a department meeting at 8am every Tuesday which everyone from every office attends.

Cut to this morning, when my friend gets an email from this new temp, requesting that the department meeting (which has been on the same day and time for over two years) be moved from 8am to 8:30am because she doesn't get in until 8:30am.

I'm sorry? How long have you worked there? Two days? And you're asking to move a long standing meeting that tons of people from different time zones go to, so you don't have to come in a half hour earlier once a week?

How are people that dense and self-concerned?

My friend responded with a hasty "no," to her email, and then received another email:

"On second thought, I'll do my best to attend the 8am start time."

Do your best? No! You will be there!! Or, you will work out with your boss whatever reason you have to NOT be there. But jeeze. You're BRAND new, you do not get to negotiate for a while.

Who CARES!?!?!

"Dunkin' Donuts pulled a television spot featuring talk show host and Food Network personality Rachael Ray this weekend after a Fox news commentator associated it with terrorists."

WHAT?

Wait, I'm sorry. (re-reads article, and finds different article.)

WHAT???

Am I the only one who finds this absolutely ludicrous??? It's freaking Rachael Ray! And while I'm not exactly a fan (the term "EVOO" irritates the bajeezus out of me), come on. Really? Is there nothing else going on in the world that some twit from Fox News (it would be Fox News, by the way) has to attack a SCARF?

Come on, people. It's not a "kiffiyeh." It's an ugly scarf that some costume designer pulled out of her Marshall's bag-o-tricks because RR had a flippin hickey or some crap. I read Michelle Malkin's actual article about this, and I can *almost* see what she's saying. But like I said before. It's a SCARF. There is no political message behind it. There is no "hate couture" movement. An ugly scarf is sometimes just an ugly scarf.

I can't believe that time was expended on this. I can't believe I'VE spent this much time on it. RIDICULOUS.

Don't take my word for it, though... what do you think?

Screenshot of Rachael Ray in Dunkin Donuts' commercial.

There is a strongly worded letter involved.

I was having a busy day at work, so I decided to put up one of my favorite black & white photos from Italy over on my other blog for my post of the day. I went to log into Media Max, where I had all of my backup files stored, and OH! LOOK! It's no longer Media Max! It's now some lame, ridiculous excuse for a "social networking site" called The Linkup. (I'm not even going to link these here, as I normally would, because I am SO mad.)

Apparently, they made the switch back in April, and, without my knowledge, ALL OF MY FILES WERE DELETED. I am so angry I want to scream and kick and hunt down whomever is responsible for this and poke them with a stick until they figure out a way for me to get my files back. Since they are located in San Diego, and I'm not leaving work for those pukes, I was forced to settle with writing an email. While I tried to sound mature and appropriate with my emails to American Airlines when they lost my luggage, I do not give a crap about Media Max, and therefore did not censor myself when writing.


To whom it may concern,

I just tried to log into my Media Max account to pull down some files and photos I had stored there, and guess what? I couldn't! I was a free Media Max user. Apparently, all of my files were deleted as of 4/25, without my knowledge.

I am LIVID about this. I was never notified there would be a switch in companies. I never received an email saying my account would be closed. I trusted your site to store my files and photographs so that I could free up space on my hard drive, and they were deleted without a word.

When researching this issue today, I found the blogs you have set up for both Media Max and The Linkup, neither of which I had ANY prior knowledge of. And, looking back, I found this passage:

"Current non-paying users: If you are not currently a paying subscriber to MediaMax, you need to upgrade your MediaMax account before April 25 to be included in the move. Otherwise, your account will be closed and all your files will be removed."

Badly done, Media Max. I should have been informed long before this occurred, so that I could transfer all of my files off of your site. This is a ridiculous betrayal of what you promised as a company when I signed up for your service.


Fortunately, I am paranoid of all things Internet, and backed up everything on an external hard drive as well. So, technically, I didn't "lose" my files. But STILL. What if that HAD been the only place I had them? What if there were important documents that I now never had access to again??? WTF is wrong with people!

Listen to my words.

I can't stand when people (1) don't pay attention to what you're saying, and (2) are complete boneheads.

Part of what I do for my company is ordering acquired films that we air from the production studios. We had another film come up that we wanted to air in two weeks, so I went through my normal channels and ordered it. This is the 6th film in the last three years that I have had to order from this woman, let's call her Angie. Yesterday, I emailed Angie with our formal request for the film. This morning, we went back and forth with emails. I'm just going to cut and paste our emails below...

Me: Hi Angie, Here is our formal order for the film (title). The DigiBeta can please be delivered to (my address). Please let me know if there are any issues."

Angie: Can you please forward me me you technical specs? (<-- yes, that is incorrect grammar in there... and she's asking for the same document I've sent her FIVE times before.)

Me: Here you go! Thanks.

Angie: Hi, I need your tech. SPECS. (<-- THAT'S WHAT I JUST SENT YOU, LADY!)

Me: This is the same document (updated more recently) as I have sent you for (other movie), (other movie), etc. Please let me know specifically what you are looking for if this document does not cover it. We will be taking care of formatting the film, as well as the closed captioning.

Angie: Hi, Please forward me the Specs file. Lab, cannot locate. (<-- WTF???? I consider this seriously rude because I literally forwarded it to her two emails ago.)

Me: Sorry for any miscommunication, it's the file I just sent you. It is titled Programming Specs, and it has the rundown of our deliverables. I have attached it again for your convenience.

Angie: (title) - is due to ship out tomorrow.


I want points for not saying, "YOU HAVE THE DOCUMENT, YOU FLIPPING MORON."

Bugger off, counterfeiters!

On Sunday I went to our local Pavillions for some bread to make French Toast. I got $20 cash back, and the teller gave it to me in $10s. One was super washed out, and he commented that it must have gone through the laundry a few times.

Cut to today. I'm getting my car washed, and belatedly realize that I only have one single to tip the guys with. I go back into the gas station and ask for change for the $10 that I have left, the weird looking one. The guy goes to give me change, then looks at me strangely. Then takes the bill and runs it through some little machine. It was a freaking COLOR COPY of a $10 bill! WTF!!!!

The guy hassled me for a minute before warning me to be careful with the bill. I somehow convinced him to let me keep it... it took me a full 15 minutes to figure out where I'd gotten it - I had to literally retrace my steps for the entire weekend to figure out who gave it to me.

I am really mad, mostly at myself - how did I not notice this when the guy gave me the bill??? How was I so preoccupied to get home and make French Toast that I didn't notice a flipping piece of paper with a (very convincing) color copy of a $10 bill??? How did I not notice when I handed him the damn thing???

UGH! I shake my fist at you, counterfeiters!!!!

Tired, and it's only May.

I am tired of hearing about Obama, Clinton, and McCain, and it's only May. Can we just skip to after the Democratic primary, then to November, to see who our next president will be?

I hate so many things about politics - the half-truths, the smear campaigns, the empty promises. Maybe it's because the CA primary has been long over, I don't know. I just want to get to the part where I need to pay attention again, because this is serious overload.

On another note, I am really wanting to see the movie Recount, about the 2000 elections. Enough so that I actually wish I had HBO.

Snip, snip, snip.

Who needs to clip their fingernails this frequently??? Do your fingernails grow at some super speed? Maybe I'm just sensitive because I hate the noise that nail clipping creates, but come on. This is the second time this week! And last week, that was another occurance. If you're that obsessive about nail care, could you please do it at home?

"JOE????"

Hi, coworkers! It's me again. Just a friendly reminder - we all work in the same office, and just because your office is not remotely near the office of someone you talk to 20x/day, it is still rude to shrilly yell across our entire building to see if someone is at their desk. Go see for yourself, or better yet, CALL THEM! If they don't answer? Chances are they're not sitting at their phone. This knowledge will eliminate the necessity of you screaming at the top of your lungs to see if they're there, and will thus prevent me from wanting to punch you in the face.

Who are you, again?

I've had this issue lately, and it surfaced once again yesterday, urging me to rant about it. We know several people through our extended group of friends who are rude, self-absorbed jerks. I don't know that there are too many other ways to put it. One or two of them have the particular problem of not remembering people they have met (sometimes on numerous occasions). Or, rather, not giving enough of a shit to pay attention when they meet the person so that they recognize them later.

Take, for example, the encounter my boyfriend had yesterday with the almost-ex-wife of a friend of a friend.

My boyfriend has met this gal numerous times over the last few years. Parties, get-togethers, group dinners out. He has had boys nights with her almost-ex-husband. He's played video games at their house. We've sat across the table from her at dinners.

So, when he ran into her at a local restaurant yesterday and gave her a polite "hey," he expected at least a vague recognition of familiarity. And got nothing. She did not recognize him. And she gave him a not-quite-polite brush off. (Or, maybe she did recognize him, and is just more of a bitch than we thought.)

Which is fine, actually. Because it's not like we need to expend energy on trying to be nice to her. But still. It's more than a little rude, if you ask me.

Here's a hint.

Hi, sweetie?

It's one thing to announce a divorce a week and a half before your close friends' wedding. It's worse when you're doing the bride's hair, and your soon-to-be-ex-husband is the best man. But life is messy, and sometimes the timing is off, so we'll let that one go.

But it is unforgivably rude to show up nearly two hours late to do the bride's hair on her WEDDING DAY. It is tasteless to latch onto the single guy at your table and make it your first date together. It is even less classy to be easily discovered making out with said single guy approximately 30 minutes before the best man's speech.

You should have checked your so-called pride and ego at the door. This day was not about you, and you wasted precious moments of your friends' wedding day drawing the attention away from them and towards your need for drama. Their wedding? Not the time, or the place. Grow up, suck it up for a few hours, and pout about it later when no one else has to see it.

I am not a fan.

I was really excited for my lunch today because I found a new product at Trader Joe's (yes, we've already established that I am a flippin nerd and lead a fairly boring life) - it's called Spicy Thai Style Pasta Salad and it has the long yummy Thai noodles. And chicken. And peanut sauce! So I was totally looking forward to it because I love all of these things. And then I opened it.

And it had dirty, dirty cilantro EVERYWHERE.

I hate cilantro. To me, it tastes like someone grabbed something that tasted maybe once tasted ok, threw it down in some dirt, poured liquid soap over it, and stomped on it until it was a paste, and then reconstructed it into leaves. Ew.

I'm sure there are people out there who like cilantro. In fact, my friend Val loves the stuff. But I'm also fairly certain that there's something that you hate that I enjoy, like artichokes. Or green beans. So you guys can jam if you like cilantro, cause this is my blog and I hate it.

It took me a good minute and a half to remove the piles of cilantro from the salad. And then I spent another good thirty seconds poking through it to make sure I didn't miss anything.

I shake my fist at you, cilantro!

That's not my name, ok?

I was reading a random blog I found today and came across a post called "My name ain't Lexi." I read it, laughed, then went to comment on it, and discovered I had quite a few things to say about the topic! See, this girl's name is Alexa, and people she works with call her "Lexi," which she doesn't like. I identify, of course, because my full name is Adriana, and I hate when people I don't know call me "Adri."

It's a fine line - I have lots of friends who call me "Adri." It's a nickname from high school, and I get it. You shorten my name because it's long and weird and whatever. I'm totally cool with my good friends calling me this, because they KNOW my full name, and use it when necessary.

I don't like when people I don't know call me "Adri." I also hate being introduced as "Adri." But again, if it's my friends, I'll deal, because I'm not a raging bitch and at the end of the day, it's just a flippin nickname.

But at work, I don't go by "Adri." I go by my full name, "Addy," or "Ade," as my friend Desi sometimes calls me. But there is one girl, Jeanette, who insists on calling me "Adri."

At first, she was new, so I didn't know how to correct her, since I'm actually a pretty nice person who doesn't like correcting people when they don't know any better. But it went on and on, and eventually I figured out a way to jokingly bring up how I don't go by "Adri" at work. I explained to her how I go by Adriana at work, and how her calling me "Adri" is similar to me shortening her nice, pretty name to "Jean," or even "Net" or something. (my mom's name is Jean, by the way, and it's a very nice name, so please don't be offended if your name is Jean)

We had a nice little conversation, and I thought she got it, but she continued to call me "Adri!" I finally just gave up, because obviously it's not something that's going to change anytime soon. She has since left the company for bigger and better things, so I guess sometimes there are things you just have to ride out. But today I'm feeling particularly cranky, and after reading Alexa's blog, I just had to mention it.

I think I actually hate Westlake.

I think I may have mentioned before that I hate driving through Westlake. People there are super snobby and self entitled, and it shows in their driving. And it's getting progressively worse, but that's an entire other story.

Back to the original reason for my post. I was driving home today, and was in about mile 6 of my 40 mile drive when a black Nissan Murano cut me off (without using his blinker, of course). Now, I was early in my drive, so this only mildly annoyed me - I just shook my head in annoyance, switched lanes myself (using my blinker, of course) and continued on my way.

Traffic wasn't BAD, but it was rough enough, and I still made ok time to get home. But then a dude on a motorcycle started doing all these tricks and fancy maneuvers IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC, and I started to get more irritated. And then it happened.

The same black Nissan Murano did the same thing again! And this time it was worse! He comes out of nowhere, swervs into my lane, then slams on his breaks, because, hi, we were in traffic and he needs to stop! This time, I got really mad. Not road-rage-pull-out-a-gun mad or anything, but definitely shake-my-fist-at-you mad (I really did shake my fist at him).

I changed lanes again because my exit was coming up and watched as he did the same thing to at least three other cars. At this point, my anger got the best of me and I sped up to see who the heck this guy is. And it's this douche-bag looking middle aged man, talking on his stupid little Bluetooth, not paying attention to a damn thing around him.

And what exit did he get off on? That's right, Westlake Blvd.

American Airlines strikes again.

Two months ago, I swore that I would not be flying American Airlines in the future, due to their deplorable behavior during our lost luggage debacle.

I knew I would have to use them at least once more when I used the $175 travel voucher they tried to placate us with, but I also knew I would be booking direct flights... Well, the time came to book with them again yesterday, when Kellie and I bought tickets for Ashleigh's wedding (and our road trip) in October.

We decided to fly into Boston, and then out of Washington DC, and found the flights we wanted. $369 round trip, including all taxes and fees and everything. But when I tried to book, what happened?

I couldn't use my voucher online. You have to make your reservations over the phone in order to use the voucher.

And what happens when you make your reservation over the phone? They charge you an additional $15 "service" fee.

What the shit is that???? You lose my luggage. Then you're total and complete assholes about the fact that you lost my luggage. Then, after months of complaints and being tossed around, you try to "make good" by giving me a voucher for less than half of what I paid for you to lose my luggage in the first place! Then, when I try to use that voucher, I have to PAY TO USE THE VOUCHER!

I am sooo pissed off about this, I can't even tell you. I shake my fist (repeatedly) at American Airlines, their stupid bleeding of their customers, and their absolutely awful customer service. Once this flight is over, I will be doing everything in my power to not support them.

WTF???

The other day, someone called a bomb threat in to my office after hours. They got our reception voicemail, and left a menacing message - but ruined their chances of being taken seriously by laughing at the end of it. Of course, our company still couldn't take it lightly, so everyone was evacuated, and we were herded to the end of our block while the cops were called and the buildings were searched.

It turned out that there was not, in fact, a bomb in our building.

But while investigating, the cops discovered that the message had been left by a cell phone. Which leads me to ask the question - HOW STUPID ARE YOU? What is going through your tiny little peanut of a mind to call in a BOMB threat, which is a felony, by the way, from your PERSONAL phone?

This seriously has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, and it just makes me mad. Not only was my office threatened and disrupted, but the person who did it wasn't even smart enough to call from a freaking pay phone or something.

Ridiculous.

I hate you, Ticketmaster!

On Saturday morning, I got up at ten minutes to 10am for the specific purpose of buying tickets for myself and five other people for the John Mayer show in July. I'd looked at tickets the night before and was ready. I had my credit card, I had the sections we wanted to sit in, I was set. I was on the site by 9:59am, and as soon as I was able, I started the process.

The "best" tickets I could find? In the third section, instead of the first, as we'd all planned. I was fully ready to purchase the more expensive tickets, but where were they? The pre-sale couldn't possibly have gotten them all, right? They don't even let that happen. And why was everything sold out before the clock even turned to 10:01am???

Then I thought - it has to be the size group that we have. So I tried searching for three people. I tried searching for two people. I even tried searching for just one! And the closest I could get was two pit tickets on AUCTION for $130.

We ended up sucking it up and getting the cheaper seats on the third level, because everyone still wanted to go. And then the freaking fees started.

We bought $55 tickets, and each of them ended up costing $75. That's almost 37% in FEES! I should have called the venue directly, or spent the two hours it would have taken me to drive down and buy them. But who knows if the tickets would still be available?

It's this outrageous catch-22, and Ticketmaster is very aware and exploits it. And that makes me so mad! I always knew that Ticketmaster was a sell out. But this is ridiculous.

Definition of a tool.

Spotted in Camarillo over the weekend. You have GOT to be kidding me. Soo ridiculous. My hatred of Hummers knows no bounds, but this tops the cake. And the driver? Yeah, he was in his 50's, and a total toolish poser. Ugh. No.

Attention co-workers.

Attention co-workers:

While it is perfectly acceptable to play music at your desk during the day, please keep it to a reasonable volume. If I am sitting at my desk more than 30 feet away, I should not be able to hear your weird music as if you were next to me with a boombox on your shoulder. Turn it down, or put on some damn headphones!

Also, even though I might not recognize the music you are playing, I do recognize when you play the same song numerous times.

Thanks for using your blinker, a-hole.

One of my biggest pet peeves about driving is those people out there who feel that they are above using their blinker. The "my car is better than yours, and you wouldn't dare hit me anyway" people. I come into contact with these types of people a lot living in the Oak Park/Westlake area, and they seriously make me want to lose my shit.

Listen up, people. You're a shitty driver if you don't use your blinker. I can forgive people who occasionally forget. Even people who look extremely distracted by children. But you? Being on your stupid little bluetooth thing does not excuse you. Neither does taking a swig from your $8 bottle of water.

Weaving in and out of traffic without your blinker is even worse. What could you possibly be thinking? Where do you expect to get? If you haven't noticed, we're sitting in traffic, and your manic switching of lanes without your blinker is not helping anything.

I have much more to say on this topic, but I can't concentrate on being cranky right now because I'm watching Juno on DVD and it's making me happy.

Seriously, that's gross.

Seriously disgusting. Our microwave at work, with some kind of meat sauce so caked on that I couldn't scrape it off with a napkin. This is not ok. I don't understand why it's so hard to take the extra second to clean up after yourself. You're not THAT busy, and you're not THAT important.

What's the point?

What is the point of starting a conversation with me, if you're just going to walk away in the middle of my response when something else comes along? How freaking rude are you, anway??? I seriously hope that you don't do that at home, because it's really annoying. I shouldn't even engage in conversations anymore... but if you're lingering in front of my desk, what choice do I have? I'm aware you don't give a shit about my opinions, but you could at least try to be polite about it.

I shake my fist at you, lady.

Who'd have thunk it?

So, THAT'S what happens to all of your stuff when it's permanently lost by airlines! They freakin' hold onto it, then SELL IT! Since American Airlines lost my bag on the way to my vacation in February, I've been overly interested in what happens to the lost/missing bags. I finally have my answer! Here's an article from Budget Travel about how and where you can buy "leftover loot" from the TSA. Ok, so it's mostly stuff confinscated by the TSA, but still. After reading it, I discovered the Oregon State Surplus site, as well as the Oregon State eBay store.

And, just to keep me entertained, I read this article called "Confessions of a Baggage Handler." I blame miscommunication and stupid American Airlines for the "misplacement" of our bags. Yeah, for seven weeks? Suck it.

I shake my fist at you, baggage handlers and TSA!

Shut up, Foo Fighters!

I am beginning to hate all of the radio stations in LA. For the most part, the three radio stations I listen to the most (when I'm not jumping on my iPod or listening to a CD) are KROQ, Star, and Jack FM. And there has been this epidemic of my radio stations overplaying Foo Fighters and Red Hot Chili Peppers. It is REALLY starting to bug me.

It seems like every time I turn the radio on it's one of the two bands. And guess what, radio stations??? I don't mind them, but we want to hear other stuff! It's gotten to the point where I would rather listen to a commercial than stay on a station with the Foo Fighters or Red Hot Chili Peppers playing on it.

I don't want to hear Dave Grohl's whining, or hear RHCP's attempted ripoff of Tom Petty. And I REALLY don't want to hear them 15 times an hour.

I shake my fist at you, Foo Fighters & Red Hot Chili Peppers!

Attention co-workers.

Attention co-workers:

(1) If you are in need of a cup, and there are none on the counter, they can be found in the cabinet below. Also, if you go to grab one from there, it is perfectly acceptable to put more on the counter where you know they should be.

(2) If you are in need of more napkins, and you are going to take the time to open a new package of them, feel free to put more out for everyone to enjoy.

(3) If there are two trash recepticles available, and one is clearly marked "Recycling ONLY: Bottles and Cans," this is not the one in which to place the trash from your salmon lunch.

(4) The proper proceedure for using individual creamers is as follows - open creamer, dump into coffee, place empty creamer container in TRASH CAN. (note: the counter is not a trash can, and therefore, empty creamers should not be left there)

(5) If you place a dirty dish in the sink, it is yours to wash. Unfortunately, our budget does not run to kitchen help, and we are left to our own devices to keep it clean. In addition, dirty dishes left in the sink for more than two weeks will be thrown away, due to the mold and filfth that is now coating them.

Thank you.

Not in the office!

Here's a tip for all you office 9-5ers out there:

If you want to eat fish for lunch, COOK IT ELSEWHERE. It is NOT cool to go into an office building that has no windows that open, and recycled air, and stink up the entire place with your re-heated fish. I don't care what kind of fish it it. I don't care if it is healthy for you. Neither of these things keep it from smelling horribly. The bottom line is that you are torturing people with the stinky, disgusting smell of your food.

Because here's the thing. You heat up your food, and then take it outside, or take it to your office. We sit out here. In the open. No office doors to block exterior smells. And your fish? That shit lingers. I could go to lunch, pass a skunk and a garbage landfill, and still come back to an office that smells worse than the bottom of a trash can at the marina.

No offense, but...

Disclaimer: Attention friends of mine that are getting married - this isn't about you.

I've been looking at wedding stuff a lot in the last few months and a few things have come to my attention that make me mad.

I am soooo sick to death of all of the things that are "required" for weddings these days! I mean, it's cool to have parties and celebrations, but why do they all require me to spend excessive amounts of money on you? Engagement parties, bridal showers, more bridal showers, bachelorette parties, weddings.

And sooo many people aren't satisfied unless people spend at LEAST $25 on a gift. They fully EXPECT people to bring them all this stuff that they may never even use. The smart, crafty ones register for cash, trips, or stuff they can turn into cash or use on trips. The extravagant ones expect numerous sets of silver and china, and furniture that will never fit in their 800 sq. foot one bedroom.

And THEN, if you mention all the showers or whatnot they're having, they make some offhand quip about "well, we ARE paying for all of you to come to the wedding." Like I asked you to find the most expensive place in the world to get married. Like I told you, "yes, please, I want you to spend $700 on me!" Here's an inside tip: We don't care where you get married. You could get married at a public park and we'd still be as happy as we'd be at that fancy country club.

The flip side is that I love weddings. I love the celebration of people who love each other, and when it comes to my close friends, I love to buy them stuff. I have no problem getting a gift for the couple, a gift for my friend. But my friends are reasonable. Most other people? Not so much.

Maybe it's just something I don't understand completely, since I'm not engaged or planning a wedding. Maybe it's some mindset that you snap into when you decide to get married. "This is about ME" or something. But give me a break. Yes, your wedding is important. But it's not an excuse to bleed people dry.

In a way, I blame reality television and the Internet. I know that's kind of lame, but it's true if you think about it. People are exposed to all these SUPER expensive parties and weddings, and begin to think that it's normal to spend $40,000+ on a single day. Here's a thought: Elope, buy a house with that $40,000 you just happened to have laying around, and then have a party there.

I have four weddings to go to this year. Four. And one of them is on the other side of the country. And, granted, I am really excited for all of them. But, these weddings? On top of all the birthdays, the graduation, and the freaking holidays. I apologize in advance, because you are all getting handmade presents for Christmas this year.

Also, here's my promise to you. When I get married, I won't have an engagement party. I won't have bridesmaids, so my friends won't have to spend money on a dress and shoes they're never going to wear again. My bachelorette party will be as close to free as I can get it to be, so that people can actually go to it and not worry about making that month's rent. And if I do have a shower (or showers, because let's admit it, there are lots of people around who want to celebrate with you when you get married, plus, I'm Italian, so there's really no way of avoiding multiple showers), I'm totally down with 10 people chipping in on a $100 gift card for the spa. Once. Not multiple times. Coming to more than one shower does not mean buying more than one gift.

You will not have to break the bank for my wedding. Deal?

A place for rants...

There are tons of things that irritate me to no end, so I've decided to create a blog to house them all!